Hot chocolate and Stargazing
by Clear Skies
Summary: Yamato and Koushiro spend a night watching the stars... Yamashiro. Shounen-ai content. Desperately sappy & fluffy. Please R&R.


A/N: Shounen-ai fluff warning; don't own Digimon; apologies for OOCness as I've never written Izzy before; I think that's everything?   
  
  


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"Here."   
I set the mug down gently beside him, and he takes his eyes off the screen for just long enough to flash me a grateful smile and murmur 'thankyou'. I smile indulgently back at him - it's impossible to separate Koushiro from his precious computer for more than a few seconds, no matter what the emergency.   
"It'll go cold," I warn him, and he looks up at me like a scolded child.   
"Sorry," I amend quickly, before that adorably hurt look starts making me go into 'aww' mode. Bringing my own mug to my lips, I take a long drink, then can't resist reminding him again. "Just don't leave it too long, ne? Your marshmallow'll melt if you're not careful..."   
He gives me a humouring look, then takes a sip from his own mug. Hot chocolate's best drunk _hot_, as the name implies - if I left Kou-chan on his own he'd let it go stone cold without even noticing.   
He gives a low 'mmm' of appreciation, and I smile - I know how much he loves hot chocolate. That's why I make it for him every time I stay over, which is actually pretty often these days. I love being here - it's quiet and peaceful (most of the time, anyway!) and I feel safe - I don't have to hunch my shoulders and shut out the world like I usually do.   
Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like if we hadn't all been thrown together the way we were. I'm not good at first impressions - I tend to push people away, you see. Maybe I'd've said something wrong, made a snide comment or something, and they'd have left me alone. I'd have missed out on everything.   
Missed out on learning how to care about other people, too. That's one thing I never knew how to do before I met them. Sure, I cared about TK, but in an 'us-versus-the-world' sort of way, not proper brotherly love at all. Now I can't help but care about my friends, especially when they do so much for me. Just the little things, like inviting me over or talking to me on the phone, or even the bigger things they do, like the time they threw that surprise party for me on my birthday. Sometimes it's the simplest things that mean the most - like when Kou-chan invites me over for a sleep-over. Last time everyone else came too, and we had a great time - laughing and joking and playing tricks. Most of the time, though, it's just him and me - and maybe Joe or TK, you know, the quieter ones - and we just lie there and talk about anything. Anything at all, from the mundane things like school and the rest of the group to the ridiculous, like taking stupid bets on how many pieces of Turkish Delight Tai could fit into that great big mouth of his. (Kou-chan later won that one - seventeen. I still owe him for it.)   
Of course, I care about _all_ of them, a _lot_, but...let's just say I'd like to call him Kou-chan _outside_ my head as well as inside. _That_ scared me a lot, when I first realised how I felt about him - but it stayed inside my head, and everyone's happy that way.  
  
He finishes typing the email - a quick note to Joe about some logic problem - and shuts down the computer with an air of practised ease. We drink the last of our chocolate in unison, then I take his mug from him. He squirms, like he always does - he hates me doing the washing up, but it's really the least I can do. I owe him - and the rest if them, obviously - _so_ much. I really don't deserve people being this nice to me.   
I make my way down to the kitchen with him in tow, still making half-hearted attempts to dissuade me. He should know better - he's well acquainted with just how stubborn I can be.   
I spin the taps, letting a cascade of steaming hot water flow into the bowl. He slides up next to me, taking each item as I wash it and drying it meticulously. There aren't just the mugs here, but a few plates and things as well - OK, so we had a little snack. OK, a _big_ snack. So what? His parents are out, and we're growing boys!   
I hand him the last plate, using the cover of the steam to look at him from underneath my trailing hair. He looks so relaxed, a ghost of a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth as he dries the last plate with a flourish. He places it carefully in the drawer, then fixes me with that half-solemn, half-laughing look of his.   
"You really don't have to do that, you know. You could just leave it for me to do in the morning."   
"I wouldn't dream of it!" I tell him, grinning, and he smiles back at me.   
"You're the greatest, Matt."   
I blush, and wave away the compliment. "Nah, I'm not, not really."   
He grins, then tugs at my arm like an excited little kid. "Look, look, the stars are coming out!"   
I can't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm. "Come on then, let's go out and watch them!"   
His face falls. "We can't - it's going dark, and it's cold out, and..."   
Laughing, I stem the tide, pushing him towards the door. "Kou, there is _no_ reason why we shouldn't go out and look at the stars!"   
"...OK then." He still sounds hesitant, and he pauses to snag his coat on the way out, but at least he's out here.  
  
The clouds have all blown away, leaving the sky completely clear. I whistle softly at the view - stars cover the heavens, looking like someone spilt blue-white glitter over a piece of blue-black paper. Beautiful.   
Koushiro's forgotten his reservations completely, and is practically bouncing up and down with excitement. "Wow! Look, look, there's Orion! And over there, that's Sagittarius!"   
I'm only half-listening - I don't really care about names. I think the stars look beautiful on their own.   
Suddenly, a bright star quite low to the horizon catches my eye. I tug on Kou-chan's sleeve, then almost wish I hadn't when he turns to me. He looks even more perfect in the starlight, with a silvery sheen to his hair and the stars reflecting in his eyes. All of a sudden I have an insane impulse to hug him, to put my arms around him and kiss him gently.   
I fight it down, and point towards the star. "What's that one called?"   
He whistles appreciatively. "That's not a star - that's actually a planet. That's Venus. Nice, isn't it?"   
I 'mmm' non-committally. "It doesn't have a constellation to be in. It's all on its own, poor thing." Yamato Ishida feeling sorry for a planet? What next? Sympathy for a rock because it doesn't have any other rocks to be friends with?   
He looks up at me, and there's a knowing look in those dark eyes of his. "You can empathise, can't you?"   
I raise an eyebrow at him, and he explains. "You...can understand how it feels, or rather how it would feel if it were alive. You were alone a lot when you were younger, weren't you?"   
I start - it's like he's reading my thoughts off some screen on my forehead. "Yeah." I clear my throat. "Yeah, I was. My own fault."   
"Don't say that." There's an intensity in his eyes that makes my cheeks burn, makes me look away before I do something stupid. Like tell him how I feel about him.   
"But it is."   
"You're being ridiculous."   
I shrug, and he grabs me by the shoulders, staring into my face. "Damnit, Matt, don't be like this. We all care about you, you know that." He drops his arms. "_I_ care about you."  
  
For a minute it doesn't sink in - OK, so I was checking him out, so file a lawsuit already - but then my mouth drops open and my brain completely shuts down. Typical - ten seconds ago it felt like a thousand people were chanting "Tell him! Tell him! Tell him!" inside my head, and now just when I need something to say there's total silence.   
Silence that lasts a little too long, apparently, because he turns away from me abruptly to stare back at the sky. I half-reach out for him, but he shivers and I snatch my hand back reflexively.   
"It's colder than I thought it would be," he says, with a forced cheerfulness that belies the fact that I almost kissed him not five seconds ago.   
On impulse, partially out of a desire to make amends, I shuck my jacket off, then go up behind him and drape it over his shoulders. He starts, almost pushes me away, then half-relaxes - but I can feel the tension radiating from him. Two voices are having a screaming match inside my head, the for-God's-sake-tell-him-you-like-him voice and the for-God's-sake-don't-screw-this-friendship-up voice, and besides the fact that they're giving me a headache it's damn difficult to pick a winner.   
I have to pick quickly, though, because standing here in silence isn't doing any good - apart from giving me the opportunity to check him out from a new angle. He really does suit starlight - it softens the lines of his face and makes him look...not younger, just more innocent. Not that he could get that much more innocent.   
Finally, my brain manages to kick me enough that I snap out of it and fumble around for something to say. 'Nice stars tonight' gets rejected as being too stupid; 'can I stick my tongue down your throat?' as too blatant. Eventually I settle on a happy medium - exactly what I should've told him minutes ago. Still, better late than never, ne?   
"I...care about you too."   
He turns at that, dark eyes searching out and holding mine. For a long second he stares at me - I can feel heat rising in my cheeks, and I flick a wayward strand of hair back behind my ear to try and hide my discomfort.   
Then his face lights up as he realises I'm not teasing him, and the distance between us melts away as he moves towards me. There's a few seconds confusion, and then I'm holding him tightly, neither of us saying a word. He chokes back a sob, and I stroke his soft red hair soothingly.   
"You really mean that, don't you?" he murmurs, his voice muffled by my shirt.   
"Of course, Kou-chan," I whisper back, tightening my arms around his warm body.   
He raises wondering eyes to mine. "K-Kou-chan?"   
I blush. "I always wanted to call you that - I just never dared..."   
He reaches up and tucks that strand of hair back behind my ear again, fingers warm against my skin. "Feel free...Yama-chan."   
I absolutely melt into his arms, resting my chin on top of his head as a hot tear slides down my cheek. I can't believe I'm crying - I never thought I was one for sentimentalism - but hey, today seems to be my day for surprises.   
After a few seconds, he leans back out from underneath my chin, sliding a hand up my cheek to twine his fingers in my hair. I respond by stroking a finger along his fringe, down past his ear until I cup his cheek in my hand. He tugs on my hair - ever so gently, just enough to communicate his intent - and I tilt his chin up as I lean down towards him.   
When our lips meet, it's like the whole world holds its breath. The stars shine down on us, turning his skin to silver and his eyes to star-flecked mirrors of the sky; the gentle breeze stirs my fringe just enough to tickle both our foreheads. His lips are so soft and warm, the kiss so gentle and tender, that I never want this to end.   
Evidently he feels the same way, because he slides his arms around my neck and pulls himself up into the kiss. I respond by shifting one hand to the back of his head and tightening my other arm across his shoulders, prompting him to 'mmph' contentedly.   
Eventually we break apart, and I draw in a breath at how adorable he looks. His eyes are half-lidded, his cheeks flushed, and his lips slightly apart.   
Beautiful.   
The breeze intensifies for a second, and I shiver involuntarily. He snaps out of his post-kiss trance instantly.   
"Oh Matt, I'm so _sorry_, keeping you out here all this time without a coat. I'm so selfish..."   
"No you not," I tell him, pulling him back into my arms. "You're the most caring, selfless, sensitive person I've ever met."   
He smiles up at me, and my heart lurches at the sparkle in his eyes and the expression of love on his face.   
"Come on," I murmur, placing a soft kiss on his forehead, "let's get inside."   
  
I'm rather surprised to see, when we do get back inside, that the kitchen clock is showing 10.53. Wow. It was only just gone half past when we went out there.   
Plus - I shoot a sideways glance at him as he yawns - it's way past Kou-chan's bedtime. He's usually such a good little boy - even when his parents are out it's always half ten, no later. I guess I bring out the rebel in him.   
He yawns again, and I chuckle at him and ruffle his hair. "Looks like someone needs some rest."   
He snuggles up to me. "Sounds like a plausible hypothesis."   
I kiss him lightly on the top of his head. "Maybe we should test it."   
"All right, all right," he grumbles good-humouredly, the science geek dissolving back into the adorable - and slightly sleepy - Kou-chan we all know and love.   
"Think you can make it upstairs?"   
"I'm not incapable, you know," he pouts. "I can manage."   
"Sure?" I grin at him, and he glares at me. He looks so cute when he's angry! I sling an arm around his shoulders, he puts one around my waist, and we climb the stairs together.   
By the time we reach his room, he's definitely close to dropping off. His eyelids keep closing, and he's leaning on me more and more heavily.   
I deposit him carefully on his bed, then stroke his hair gently. He looks so innocent and adorable...   
I take a step back and half-turn, ready to make my way to the guest room, but his soft voice calls me back.   
"Matt...don't go."   
I smile down at him. "You ought to get some sleep, and so," I yawn widely, proving my point, "should I."   
"Don't go."   
I stroke his cheek tenderly. "I need to go to bed."   
"There's room for two."   
"Kou-chan..."   
"What?" He reaches up and runs a finger across my lips. "I don't want you to be alone tonight. Not again."   
I resist the urge to kiss him. "Kou, I shouldn't."   
"Why not?"   
"Well...I just don't think I'm ready."   
He laughs at me, then, but there's no malice in it. "Oh, I wasn't talking about _that_. I just want to...be with you as much as possible. You know?"   
I can't resist any longer - I lean down, placing my hands on his shoulders, and kiss him.   
When I come up for air, he grins knowingly at me. "Have I convinced you?"   
I mock-glare at him. "Much against my better judgement..."   
He smiles. "Good. You'd better not snore."   
I punch him lightly on the arm. "Snore? Moi?"   
  
I take a minute to pause and reflect, halfway through rummaging in my bag for my toothbrush. Everything's moved so fast - I've gone from admiring him from a distance to being in his arms in the space of less than an hour. And now I'm going to share a bed with him.   
Not that that's much of a problem, but there is one question. I'd trust him with my life, but do I trust myself? I don't want to ruin everything bare hours after it began.   
However, I've agreed now, and there's nothing I can do about it.   
I eventually find the vagrant toothbrush and wander along to the bathroom.   
  
A short while later, clean and scrubbed, I emerge, and make my way slowly towards his room. Unsure as to whether or not to knock, I push the door open with my foot -   
- and stop dead. He's stood there in the middle of the room wearing nothing but a pair of red boxers - I've obviously caught him changing - and he looks utterly beautiful. The combination of pale, creamy skin and striking red hair makes him look too attractive for words - not to mention he has a nice body.   
He turns, then smiles at me. "You're not changed yet."   
I manage to find my voice eventually. "I...didn't bring anything to change into."   
He shrugs. "Sleep in your boxers. I always do." Sliding past me on his way to the bathroom, he stretches up and gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I stare after him for a second, fingers stroking the spot where he kissed me. Shaking my head, I start getting undressed.   
By the time he returns from the bathroom, I'm down to my boxers and T-shirt. I don't hear him come in, so it's a slight shock when I feel warm hands on my back, pulling my shirt off over my head. I turn to face him, and catch my breath again at how perfect he is.   
He smiles, pressing his hands against my bare chest. "I never guessed you were so attractive, Yama-chan."   
I shake my head. "I'm not the attractive one in this room," I tell him as I lean down to capture his lips. He slides his arms around me, tightening his grasp to bring us closer together until our bare bodies touch, and I respond by pressing my lips more firmly against his. I'm half-surprised, half-glad at my chaste reaction - this isn't about sex, but about love. And I do love him. A _lot_.   
As usual, we break apart after far too short a time, and I curse inwardly that human lungs don't hold more oxygen. Breathing is such a chore. He smiles up at me, then yawns.   
"Am I boring you?" I tease him, and he shakes his head vehemently.   
"Never."   
I rest my forehead against his. "Good. But we really ought to get some sleep."   
"All right." He turns back the covers and slides between them, and after a few seconds' hesitation I follow him.   
He smiles. "I'm warning you - any snoring and I shove you out."   
I poke him. "_I'm_ not the one you should be worrying about."   
He gapes in mock indignation. "What are you trying to say?"   
"Nothing," I chuckle. "Go to sleep."   
He rolls over onto his side, tucking the covers around his chin. I pause for a second or two, then move up next to him, sliding my arms around his chest and resting my chin on his shoulder. He 'mmm's contentedly, snuggling back into my arms, and I press a kiss onto his bare neck.   
"I love you." My heart melts - no-one's ever said that to me before.   
"I love you too, Kou-chan."   
He smiles, even as his eyes drift closed. Mine stay open for a few seconds longer - just long enough to register Venus shining down on us through his bedroom window.   
Happy that our relationship has divine approval, I snuggle closer to his warm body, and slowly close my eyes.   
  
  


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A/N: Oh dear. That was incredibly sappy, wasn't it? *sighs* It's so hard being a shounen-ai fluff addict.   
Anyway, drop me a review and tell me what you thought. And yes, before you ask it is another of those dragged-out-of-my-brain-at-gone-midnight fics that I scribbled down in orange felt tip pen. Oh for a normal sleep pattern.   
  
It was only after I'd written over half of this that I discovered, lying forgotten at the bottom of my CD collection, a certain single by Alisha's Attic. I stuck it in my CD player and started listening - and then it dawned on me how well it fitted with the story (in my opinion, at least). So, this didn't start out as a song-fic in any way, but apparently it was destined to _be_ one. Have a read of the lyrics (to which I don't own the copyright, by the way - they're used without permission but with great thanks) and see what you think (I've left out a few bits).   
  
  
_It's just the little things   
The incidentals, it's like   
You wouldn't even notice when you   
Really turn me on   
It's the little sparks that fly and   
Land like dynamite   
  
It's just   
It's just the simple things   
Pure incidentals, it's like   
Staying up till midnight talking about   
Absolutely nothing   
It's the thought that it'll always be as _  
_Wild as I expect it to be   
_  
_It's just the simple things   
Pure incidentals, it's like   
Breathing on the back of my neck and making me feel   
Weak inside   
No matter how scared, how scared I am I don't wanna be _  
_Saved tonight _


End file.
